A young woman needs our help.  And, as you know, we are always here to help.

Dear Storm & Chris,

I have been dating this guy for 8 months and we don’t see other people.  The other day we went out to lunch together and he left first.  As I was getting my things together to go, I noticed he left his cell phone on the bench seat of the booth.  I was kind of curious and maybe I shouldn’t have, but I picked it up and started going through his text messages.  I just wanted to see if there was anything he shouldn’t be doing or if he texted other girls or anything.  Anyway, just as I was looking through them, he walks back in to get his phone and sees me looking through it.  He was furious and said I invaded his privacy.  I thought he was overreacting and feel like if he didn’t have anything to hide he wouldn’t care if I read his messages.  Now I wonder if he’s talking to other women or what?  We’ve been arguing about it ever since.  So I’m asking:  If we’re exclusive, why can’t I read his texts?  What’s the big deal?  Or is he being dishonest with me and that’s why he doesn’t want me to see them?

Thanks for your advice,

Amanda

7.15.10.1.Should Girlfriend Have Read BF’s Texts

7.15.10.2.GF vs BF Text Calls

Dear Storm & Chris,

My girlfriends and I hear you guys talking about kids and teenagers a lot, so we thought you might have some input on a disagreement we’re having.  Actually, it’s only a disagreement with one of our friends.  We all have kids and we were talking about how hard it can be with teenagers.  Our friend casually remarked that she keeps her teenage daughter in line by periodically going through her daughter’s room to make sure she isn’t up to anything she shouldn’t be.  She looks in her drawers, her closet, between the mattresses of her bed, everywhere she thinks something might be concealed.  She does this regularly, and not because she has reason to think her daughter is doing something bad!  The rest of us thought this was TERRIBLE and an invasion of her daughter’s privacy.  But she says he daughter doesn’t have a “right” to privacy as long as she lives in her house.  What is she, in prison?  So what do you think?  We’re all dying to hear what you have to say about this.  Who’s right?

Friends of the Snoop 

Tell us!  Do you snoop through your teen’s things?  Do teenagers have a right to privacy?

7.02.10.1.Should You Snoop in Your Teen’s Room

7.02.10.2.Calls About Snooping in Teen’s Room

7.02.10.3.More Calls About Snooping in Teen’s Room

Dear Storm & Chris,

HELP!  I love my husband very much, but this guy has no boundaries!  I swear when we got married I thought he’d outgrow these things, but that hasn’t happened yet.  Just for a couple of examples, he has no problem pawing through my purse if he’s looking for something, even though I’ve told him he messes all my things up in there and he can just ask me.  He says I shouldn’t care, it’s not like I have top secret stuff in there.  But that’s not the point!  The point is, it’s MY purse and I don’t want anybody digging through it!  I don’t go into his wallet looking for anything, and if I needed something I thought was in it, I’d just ask him!  Also, and this really makes me crazy, he always drinks after me from the same glass.  Which I think is disgusting!  I don’t share a glass with anybody!  He’s even used my TOOTHBRUSH before!  When I tell him this is gross, he says we have kids together and we kiss on the mouth, so I shouldn’t have a problem with him drinking after me or borrowing my toothbrush.  But all I can think about is drinking backwash in my cup of coffee or my glass of soda, so I just give it to him or pour it out.  He says I’m picky, I say he needs to keep his hands off my things!  Which is it?

Thanks for your help!

Genelle

Tell us!  Does Genelle’s husband lack boundaries or is she too picky?

6.25.10.1.My Husband Has No Boundaries

6.25.10.2.More About Boundaries

Dear Storm and Chris

My daughter and I would like some help from you and your audience.  She is 15 years old.  Usually every summer she has been signed up for different activities she is interested in or that I think she will like.  She has been in cheerleading, gymnastics, soccer, piano lessons, swimming, art, drama, science camps, whatever.  She has tried lots of different things over her summer vacations through the years.  This summer I gave her a bunch of suggestions and kept asking her what she wanted to do, but she wouldn’t tell me.  Finally, school got out and she wasn’t signed up for anything.  So now she is just sitting around all day watching TV, messing around on the computer and talking to her friends on the phone.  It drives me crazy to see her wasting her time like this!  I come home every day and she’s spent the whole day doing NOTHING!  She says she’s  doing what she wants and she’s happy to spend her summer like this but it’s driving me nuts!  She doesn’t want me to put her in anything interesting but I don’t think this is good for her.  She says I should just leave her alone.  So now we’d like to know who’s right?  Should she be doing something constructive with her vacation or should I leave her alone?  Thanks and we’ll be listening!

Signed,

Bossy & Lazy

Tell us!  What’s your advice for Bossy & Lazy?

6.24.10.1.Mom & Daughter Dispute Over Summer Activities

6.24.10.2.Mom & Daughter Dispute Calls

Dear Storm & Chris,

How’s THIS for a stupid marital squabble?  My husband and I are writing you together to see if anyone else argues about the same thing or something equally silly.  He thinks it’s irritating that whenever I am driving alone and stop to fill up, I have no problem pumping my own gas.  BUT, whenever we are riding together, either in my car or in his, every time we stop for gas, it’s always been his job to pump.  It’s always been this way (and we’ve been together for 12 years now).  For the last couple of years, we’ve been bickering about it.  Or rather, HE’S been complaining about it and says my insistence that he be the one to get out and fill up the gas tank is gender stereotyping.  Like we should be equal opportunity gas pumpers.  I just say it’s one of those things that’s just his job when we’re together!  Is that so bad?  So I’m curious, out in the great big world of married people,  whose job is it to pump gas?  Do other people have jobs like this that they sort of automatically assign to their partner?  

Thanks!

Fill ‘er up!

The KTK Listenerverse weighs in on this thorny issue:

6.17.10.2.Who Pumps the Gas

6.17.10.3.Who Pumps the Gas Calls

Dear Storm & Chris,

I have a terrible problem with my husband, but I just don’t know what to do about it.  In pretty much every way, he’s a fantastic guy.  He’s a thoughtful, caring husband and father to our three kids (all boys) and I rarely have anything to complain about.  Until we go to one of the boys’ sporting events.  They have always played sports, from soccer to baseball to football and we go to all their games.  And here’s my problem.  You know that obnoxious jerk who’s always at their kid’s game, screaming at the coach or at the kids or at the other team?  The parents everybody else stares at and talks about?  My husband is THAT guy.  I don’t know why he gets so competitive at the games, I don’t know what is wrong with him, but I know I can’t take it anymore.  I have tried to talk to him, but he doesn’t seem to realize how awfully he behaves.  Now I’m at my wits end and I need SOMEONE to tell me what I can do about this.  Any suggestions from your audience?

Signed,

I’m With Stupid

What did the KTK Listenerverse have to say to Stupid’s wife?

6.16.10.1.Dear Storm & Chris – I’m With Stupid

6.16.10.2.I’m With Stupid Calls

6.16.10.3.Another Stupid Call

A listener asks for advice on how to move on to a new hairdresser:

Dear Storm & Chris,

I have been going to the same hairdresser for almost 10 years and she’s always done a great job ob my hair.  A couple of weeks ago, though, my girlfriend got a GREAT haircut and color and I LOVED it!  She suggested I go see her hairdresser the next time I need to get my hair done, which is pretty much right about now and I really want to try her new style.  My problem is that I don’t want to upset my regular hairdresser.  She’s a very nice lady and it isn’t that I’m unhappy with the job she’s done – I just want to try someone new.  So I tell her?  Do I just not mention it and move on?  Somehow that doesn’t seem right after all these years.  I was wondering if maybe this had happened to someone else who might be listening or if maybe a hairdresser listening might be able to tell me how this is handled.  HELP!

Signed,

Cheating on My Hairdresser

Tell us!  What would you do?  Have you ever broken up with your hairdresser?

6.04.10.1.How Do I Break Up With My Hairdresser

6.04.10.2.Breaking Up With Hairdresser Calls

6.04.10.3.More Breaking Up With Hairdresser Calls

6.04.10.6.Last Breaking Up With Hairdresser Calls

Dear Storm and Chris,

I have kind of a delicate problem with a male coworker at my office.  We mostly have women where I work and we always compliment one another if we notice someone’s been to the salon, gotten a new haircut or color or whatever.

But recently one of the men who works here started coloring his hair using one of those male coloring products that’s supposed to be gradual so it looks natural.  He had pretty gray hair a few weeks ago and now it’s all dark brown.  It’s very obvious that he’s started coloring his hair, but since he used one of those gradual products, I feel like he doesn’t want people to know.  Otherwise, why not just color it and get it over with all at once?  And what comes naturally to me with my female coworkers, which is to compliment them on their new look, isn’t the case here.  I haven’t said “Gee, Jim, your hair looks really good” because I think we’re not supposed to notice the change?  But since I haven’t said anything to him at all about it, now I feel really awkward every time I we see each other at work.  Which is pretty much all day long.

What’s appropriate here?  If men color their hair, should you say something about it or just act like you don’t notice?  I feel silly even asking about this, but I’d kind of like to see if other people have ever dealt with something similar.

Thanks!

“Gee, your hair looks terrific!”

So how ould the KTK Listenerverse handle it?

5.13.10.1.Gee Your Hair Looks Terrific

5.13.10.2.Guy Hair Coloring Calls

5.13.10.3.Another Guy Hair Coloring Call

5.13.10.5.Last Hair Coloring Call

Brittany wrote to us asking what we thought of her boyfriend Chuck’s refusal to update his relationship status on Facebook.  What does it mean?  We weren’t really sure, so we took it to the streets and here’s what we’ve learned:

5.06.10.1.He Won’t Change His Relationship Status on Facebook

5.06.10.2.Facebook Status Call

5.06.10.3.17 Year Old Dumped on Facebook

5.06.10.5.A Teacher Weighs in on Facebook Status Controversy

5.06.10.6.A 30 Year Old Guy Weighs In

Dear Uncle Stormy and Mother Wells,

I need your advice.  My boyfriend Chuck and I have been dating for about three months now.  I like him a lot and he says he feels the same way about me.  Recently, I changed my Facebook profile to “In a relationship” but his still has him listed as “single.”  So I asked him why he hadn’t updated his status and he didn’t exactly react well.  He made up an excuse, saying he was a private person and had been planning to eliminate that setting completely anyway.  So, I guess it’s okay for us to be together but he doesn’t want the world (or at least his Facebook friends) to know about us.  I’m wondering if I should break things off with him.  My friends tell me that if he doesn’t want to acknowledge us on Facebook, that means he’s probably still looking around, but I wanted to see what unbiased people thought about this.  I feel “unfriended.”

Thanks for your help.

Brittany